By Caleb Callaway | “Ring by spring!” “Come and get your MRS degree!” Statements such as these are the unofficial mantras of private Christian universities across the nation, and HPU is no exception. It is safe to say that most young adults are either in a relationship, have been in a relationship, or want to be in a relationship.
In fact, the desire to be in romantic relationships is almost wired into us as human beings, and as with anything in life, we can learn from those who possess experiential wisdom from being in romantic relationships. So what exactly are people saying about relationships?
Advice from students that are currently in dating relationships:
Sara Heinrichs, junior theater education major said, “Don’t search for it, let the Lord put them in your path. My boyfriend and I were friends a year before we started dating.”
Kylie Johnson, junior cross-cultural studies major also knows that “Communication is important.” She also said to never be “afraid to have vulnerable and difficult conversations. Also, find someone who you can be the your goofiest around,” and lastly, “don’t keep score.”
Haleigh Clevenger and boyfriend Charles Lewis, have come to learn that a “common theme among new dating relationships, is that it can be really easy to ditch previous obligations and friendships for that special someone,” but they “believe there can be a healthy balance to this new and exciting season of life, a balance built on boundaries and pillars of accountability that the Lord desires us to cling to.”
Advice from students who are engaged:
Rachel Lilley, senior elementary education major shared that “just because everyone talks about how they met the love of their life in college, doesn’t mean that you will. You have to be okay with that possibility. Don’t rush it!”
Christian Barnett, freshman Christian studies major expanded on not rushing into things and he said, “ask yourselves, ‘Are we physically, emotionally, spiritually, and financially ready to get in a relationship?’ When you get engaged, it only gets harder, especially staying within the boundaries that you’ve already set. Always reevaluate your relationship to make sure that God is at the center of it.”
Advice from married couples:
“You definitely want to wait for God’s timing. Don’t try to get ahead of Him and don’t lag behind Him,” Cheryl Mangrum, associate director of admission said.
Jacob Rohrer, newlywed and assistant to the president for special projects said that whenever you make the decision to get engaged, make sure that you make a commitment to premarital counseling. “
Marriage is one of the biggest commitments of your life, so why wouldn’t you prepare for it in the best way possible? It’s like scuba diving; anyone can put on the gear and jump into the water, but if you don’t have the proper training, there is a good chance that you will drown,” he said. Andrew Taylor, non-traditional social work major shared to always “have a forgiving heart. Those closest to us are often capable of hurting us the most. Putting aside hurt feelings and pride to forgive is key.”
Brienna Williams, a strategic communication major acknowledged that “one of the most important things to do when looking for a relationship is to learn a person’s true character by observing the way they interact with people, their work ethic, and how they handle themselves in different situations. As you observe their life, be realistic. If their values line up with yours and you can see yourself marrying them, get to know them deeper. If you can’t, don’t waste your time on their time.” Brienna and her husband Eli didn’t force things, it just kind of happened, and they said to “just keep living life until you bump into someone whose character you’ve observed and can truly see yourself marrying, then let God work His magic.”
So, whether you are currently in a relationship or simply desire to be in one, take this heartfelt advice from peers who are in all stages of relationships.
Romantic relationships, like anything else, take work and can always be improved upon. Learning from those who have experience in this area offers a great opportunity to grow closer with those we love.