By Tamee Ryan |
I see you.
It’s your first year away from home and you miss your mom. It’s your senior year and you have no clue what you’re going to be doing after graduation and you are counting the days. You are terrified. You are excited. You are homesick. You are free.
We all have a different experience at HPU. Some of us are glad to be back to our friends and our routines and some of us are struggling to make it even two weeks in because of all the things that need to be addressed back home. I see you. Take a breath. Breathe in your surroundings. Look at your immediate future and know that this is where you were meant to be.
Last semester was the hardest semester I have had in my life – and I’ve had some rough ones. Few knew my inner struggles. Few knew me. As a “transfer” student who hasn’t been in the school rounds in more than a decade, I wasn’t concerned with making friends or even a difference. I was focused on keeping my mind off of home for three days a week – where my mom was grieving my dad’s death and my children were grieving in their own little ways the same death – where I was doing my best to figure out how to make it all happen despite the personal grief that encompassed me daily.
I remember going to the staff-led chapel last semester. I mean, who wouldn’t jump at the chance to see Professor Wunderle rock out on the drums and Dr. Kelley jam out on the bass? I walked in and immediately regretted my decision. See, my dad went to HPU too. I stood behind a pillar and hid my tears. I could feel Dad everywhere. I could feel him saying “It is well, Tam. I am well.” I JOLTED out of Mims with a force reserved for occasions of extreme bathroom breaks and also tears. I cried. I sat in my car instead of going to Spanish. I got myself together and resumed my day, despite wanting to drive home and curl up under the covers forever.
I see you. I see your struggle. Do. Not. Give. Up. Keep fighting. Keep going to class. Lean on your friends, your professors. Let them know your struggles, and you’ll find that you aren’t alone in them. Go see the on-campus counselor. Meet with your advisor. Have coffee with someone you have disconnected with unintentionally. Pray. Meditate. Listen to your favorite song. Dance.
I see you – and we have got this.